4.13- Flopping Like a Fish

Well well, an update. Last time I mentionned how the “last kids” would age up… Given how only Ethan is a young adult, it means all three kids will age up in this update.

Starting with Elrath.

He’s excited about becoming old enough to be a man many girls can be fans of.

His siblings are not assisting his birthday, but his father -who doesn’t give a damn- is.

Gan: All hail the retard.

Elrath rolled Savvy Sculptor as his final trait, making him more similar to his father than he’d like. His Lifetime Wish is to become a Superstar Actor. Duh.

Elrath: You may call me… Elrath-sama. (Oh, shut up)

Edward was not attending because he was setting boundaries with Eve.

Edward: We might be best friends, but I’d still like to take a dump in privacy.
Eve: You said we’d share everything.

After relieving himself of his load, Edward washed his hands and prepared waffles for the household.

Edward: Oh my god, I can’t even do waffles right, now? What has this world come to?

He served his burnt waffles with shame.

Edward: No-one will want to be my friend now.

Gan eventually discovered the upstairs bathroom for the first time.

Gan: Wow, this house has an upstairs!

Elrath decided that a famous actor needs to have many skills to have people fawn over him.

Elrath: What are you looking at?

Dalyra has been quiet, mainly studying alchemy, and checking the lawn for precious metals.

Dalyra: Well look at this. Here’s hoping picking this up won’t get any of my boys pregnant.

Chances are it won’t since Elrath is glued to the piano.

…and Ethan passed out in his man cave.

So she went back to her elixir making.

She is making random ones solely for the purpose of gaining some skill points.

Roses are red, Edward is blue…

That’s what happens when you stand on the front porch for hours in your nightwear.

Now that Ethan is allowed inside, Edward thought that he would be allowed into his place.

Edward: What the hell, after all we’ve been through together!

While Edward is freezing his balls off outside, this guy found a way in the house. As usual, his name is unknown because I always forget to note it down. Call him Jim.

ProbablyNotJim: I get to eat as much cake as I want today!

Little did Jim know that the matriarch of the place is not exactly nice towards trespassing strangers.

Dalyra: How dare you come in without knocking? AND without introducing your sorry ass?

Jim was terrified, he had heard the stories about the witch of the wilds mean fishewoman.

DefenitelyNotJim: I’m s-sorry, Miss M-Moonwisp, I uh…
Dalyra: I’m married prick, it’s Madam.

She slapped him for this insult, while Eve looked the other way to preserve her innocence.

Can’tBeJim: B-but M’am?
Dalyra: I said MADAM! Youngsters these days can’t clean their ears or what?

While loud yowls of accusation came from the entry hall, Elvis has his birthday.

Elvis: I finally get some of that sweet sweet puberty!

Sweet sweet puberty also causes one to make bad decisions. Like getting a face tattoo. And rolling Unflirty as his fourth trait.

Elvis: These are my alien clan markings… I think.

He walked out of the bathroom and did not loook away like Eve did.

Elvis: Oh wow, my step-mom blew up with rage.

She’s technically teaching Jim a lesson about how many bones you can break while still being able to walk away.

BrokenJim: I’m sorry Madam!

Dalyra is unforgiving and beat him to a pulp. Elvis is just pretending to be busy but in reality he’s enjoying the show, simply hoping he’s not next.

Dalyra: That’ll teach you for your lack of knowlegde about titles. And for having the same haircut my son had as a toddler.

While all this was happening, Edward tried to decipher the elven glyphs on the crypt’s door to get in.

He never figured out it said to announce yourself a friend.

Dalyra went out to find his pitiful body.

Dalyra: What’s your problem? Do you have a deathwish?

She wouldn’t let him go so easily. Out with the hairdryer!

Dalyra: You were never the sharpest tool in the shed.
Edward: Omg Mom, just help me, okay?

As soon as he was unfrozen enough to get up, he passed out in exhaustion and right back on the ground.

Dalyra: Are you fucking kidding me?

THEN, when he woke up, he pissed himself.

Dalyra: Seriously, Edward?
Edward: I was frozen for HOURS! ALL my needs are in the red.

The shame of peeing himself right beside his mother warmed him up a little, enough to not be blue for about five seconds.

Dalyra: Then YOU go to bed. I’m not going to read you a story like when you were younger.
Edward: Yes Mom.

Dalyra’s rescue mission took place when she was planning to go to bed. She passed out too.

Edward: That’s what you get for never ever reading me a story anyway.

Even though he was told to go to bed, he silently observed his mother as she slept on the frozen lawn.

Edward: Can’t let one of my friends down.

Soon enough she woke up and they both went inside. Edward opted for a warm shower.

Edward: Uh, I’d like to have a private shower, please.
Ethan: I need to pee. Go away.

They will have to fight for the bathroom. Ethan seems to have higher authority.

Edward: But I almost froze to death braving the Pass of Caradrhas’s winter winds…
Ethan: You mean you tried sneaking into my place. Get out.

Sadly for Edward, he can’t use the other bathroom because it’s also occupied.

Elrath: I have no idea where my perfect eyebrows went on a stroll at, but I’m still flawless.

Elvis is ALSO developping a passion for hot dogs.

Elvis: Those are tofu dogs. We all know they put alien fat in regular hot dogs.

Edward found one of the other bathrooms, showered, and went into his bedroom.

Edward: How am I supposed to sleep with such a creeper watching over me?

Creeper in question is Ethan, who wanted to offer his sibling some mushrooms to warm him up.

Ethan: Your skintone matches your bedroom though. Cool.
Edward: I love you, but can you PLEASE fuck off as I am still trying to not DIE!

The next morning starts with confirmation that Edward managed to nurse himself back to life.

Edward: Dad, we’re all used to it by now. Not much sense of adventure to it anymore.

Dalyra wanted to bond with Elrath, but her old age really affects her vision.

Elrath: That’s close enough I think… I’d hate to have to hire body guards to protect myself from my own mother.

This lovely Sunday starts with the two lady teens exchanging a few words.

Elika: So, do you put red on your canvas first because it reminds you of blood?
Eve: Mainly because it reminds me of ketchup, actually.

Edward tried to preserve his friendship with his dad, who seemed less willing.

Edward: Father, can you teach me a song from where you’re from?
Gan: Where I’m from? What does that even mean, you racist fuck?
Edward: Uh Dad…?

Elika wanted some more artsy type conversations so she went to her brother.

Elrath: Wait up, I have to take a pose.
Elika: Do you really have to assume you’re the piece of art I want to discuss?

Once the bubble in his brain passed, Elrath was more than happy to talk about sculpting.

Elika:  Do you think the Venus is missing her arms because the life model herself didn’t have any?
Elrath: I think the sculptor just wanted to avoid having to shape realistic hands. Lazy.

Around lunch, Ethan got a phonecall from an old lady at the other end of town.

Ethan: The power button should be the round one on the computer… …No, that’s the O on your keyboard… No, you don’t need to go get your keys..

Fiddling with alchemy, Dalyra found out it had side effects.

Dalyra: That’s…new.

Rather than look for a cure, she played video games with Elvis.

Elvis: What the heck… Promise me you’ll never eat frog legs after that… What if it was yours?

Gan got up from his nap and immediately picked a fight with his son.

Gan: You’re about as creepy looking with your stupid makeup.
Elvis: It’s my CLAN MARKINGS!

Dalyra interrupted the two to prevent any escalation and to require Gan’s assistance.

Dalyra: So a kiss is supposed to cure me. You don’t have to use tongue.

Gan doesn’t seem fond of the idea, so he kissed her on the cheek.

Elvis: “Wow, he’s so overdramatic.”

This is what you get when you don’t go all the way.

Gan: Maybe we should have used tongue?

Their frog tongues would not break the spell, but their love is just as strong.

Dalyra: Oh, this is so exotic!

While the frogs croak their passion to one another, Elika decided to have her birthday.

Elika: The sooner the better. Then I can get out of here. Maybe.

That would be assuming she doesn’t win the heir poll, considering her pretty face.

Dalyra: Don’t mind us, just going to enjoy some frog woohoo.
Elika: I did not need to know that, Mom.

Elika rolled Vegetarian to complete her trait set. She must have heard Elvis and realized she didn’t want to eat a piece of her mother.

Elika: You really can’t not take a pose for two seconds, can you?
Elrath: *Happy anime grin*

Once he was done posing, he had to defend himself, naturally after walking to the other end of the table.

Elrath: What about you, huh? Always pretending to be tough but we all know you’re a little wimp inside!
Elika: Rude! That’s just how I am.
Elrath: Well I happen to be born for greatness.

After frog woohoo, Dalyra headed to the store to buy ingredients.

Dalyra: I didn’t get my celebrity discount. I don’t understand why they didn’t recognize me.

Back home, she hogged the alchemy station again, this time creating a cure since kisses and woohoos didn’t help.

After all, there is only a few days before heirship is passed, after which she would be stuck as a frog for a long time.

She was successful in her mixing. She used it on herself right away.

Dalyra: Feels tingly.

Back to normal, she cared for the last potato plant.

Gan would have to wait to be home from work for his own cure.

Back from school, studious Eve tackles her homework in Elrath’s bedroom.

Eve: I don’t have a desk in my own room. Besides, he no longer gets homework.

Much less productive Elika has been napping almost all day.

Playing video games all night does that to people.

Elvis also chose to do his homework, but chose a much less comfortable spot for it.

Elvis: Why do I have to study human history? Who cares?

A deer came for some reconnaissance on the front lawn.

Deer: Area is not safe, I can hear a giant frog croaking. Do not engage!

The giant frog is home but Dalyra is sleeping,so he gets to be stuck like this longer.

Gan: I wonder if the spa offers frog-only facials?

The two elder brothers returned to their roots, in the very forgotten nursery.

Ethan: Shake that ass, brother!

Elrath, with a smug face on his face, headed for his own space to break it down.

Ethan: Rock it, man!

So he rocked it.

Elrath: What?

The brothers rocked the night away in their own ways.

Ethan: Quality time, oh yes. And in a day I find out who my dad is.
Elrath: Good for you. I hope for you it isn’t Gan. He sucks.

Whereas the sisters had more of an awkward time.

Elika: What the heck, when did you get in here?
Eve: Last night. I drew something for you so you can pretend you did something with your life.

Morning came, and Gan was still waiting for Dalyra to wake up and cure him.

Gan: Curse her! How long does one need to sleep?

Not as long as he thinks, as she is simply admiring her collection, taking her sweet time.

Dalyra: Which one should I break on Gan’s head next time he puts his hat on?

When she finally got out, the sight of him was too much.

Dalyra: But how could you possibly wear your hat with such a huge and hideous head?
Gan: I’m sorry, who’s hideous now?

She cured him, and he showed nearly no gratitude.

Gan: You’re lucky I find old ladies with saggy butts attractive or I’d not be very happy with how you treat me.
Dalyra: You better not complain or I’ll throw you in the trash.

Soon enough, it’s the twins-not-twins’ birthday.

Eve: Are you ready, Edward? We go together.

People came and naturally, Edward’s brain was to slow to catch on to what Eve said.

Edward: Ladies first.

Eve’s cake started a fire, and Edward started wishing on stuff.

Edward: I wish to never be cold again.

Granted.

Ethan: Come on Edward, what the heck are you doing?

Celebrating of course, and having a lot too much faith in his family to put him out.

Edward: I’ve defenitely lost the frostbite now.

So it’s time for some sparkles, yeah?

Elika: This isn’t the time! There’s already enough light in this room!

While Ethan bravely puts the fire out, everybody else panicks.

Oh, and Edward is still on fire.

Totally oblivious to it, he grabs himself a piece of cake.

Elika: Are you aware your butt is on fire?

No, no he is not. Both Dalyra and the firefighter are waiting to put him out.

Dalyra: Son, are you still going through with your death wish?
Edward: But mom, this cake is delicious, you should try it.

As soon as he was done with his cake, he ran faster than one would think beside the table, and burnt to a pile of ash.

Congratulations, Edward.

The birthday cheers that had changed into fire panic now mutated into cacophonous sobs.

Elvis: I never thought humans could burn up so fast!

Grimmy appeared in a puff of smoke, just to add to the irony.

Elika: I didn’t want to win over Edward that easily. Now what does it prove?

Naturally, Edward begged for his life since he never did anything significant.

Grimmy: Dude, you chose cake over life. Suck on it.

Then, as everyone cried their hearts out, he laughed at them.

Grimmy: Haha, she has the same hair he died with.

Yes, everybody in town ages with that hair!

As her final trait, Eve rolled Frugal. Her makeover was apparently unimportant but is similar to how she was as a teen.

As for Edward, he’s DEAD like a stooge.

He however rolled Great Kisser. Too bad it’s hard to kiss anything when you’re not material anymore.

A quick look at how he would be if he wasn’t a ghost.

BUT HE’S DEAD, BECAUSE CAKE>LIFE.

This is how this generation ends, folks… This put me in disarray for a while since I had no idea what to do about the poll. Turns out it’s somewhat of a luck because I had no inspiration to dress someone in grey…

However, Edward will still be elligible for the heir poll (upcoming shortly). He will remain a ghost wether he wins it or not.

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2 thoughts on “4.13- Flopping Like a Fish

  1. Pingback: Choose your E | The Moonwisp Chronicles

  2. somebodysangel13

    OMG, Edward! Wow, talk about a crappy time to die. But I am glad he will still be eligible for heir, I do like him. Though Elika is *gorgeous* and Ethan is so very handsome.

    LOL at the matched frog heads! And good on Dalyra for taking her sweet time to cure Gan. He who didn’t cure her in the first place.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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